Another year of being let go...

After spending a whole evening crying my eyes out, I can finally talk about being fired... Yes... essentially when you get pink slipped you are fired. Even when you think you were doing well they pull the rug out from under you and let you go. 

I've been let go before but this time it hurt. No warning, no hey let's talk and see what we can do to make things work... nothing. Just nothing but good-bye. Ouch. I'm ready to have a job that doesn't make you work the last three months with people that clearly don't want you there.

Being a special education teacher with credentials that are rare you would think it would be easier to keep a job. Apparently, not. I am so tired of the politics. If there was a job that I was good at other than teaching I would do it instead. I am really good at teaching. I'm tired of moving around and starting fresh every year. It is hard to show that I am really good with little less than a year in a classroom. It takes a good 3 years to get into a groove... I just want a chance.

Life happens

I think about writing everyday I log onto the internet. The blogger page automatically opens, along with Facebook. So you can just take a wild guess as to which one I gravitate toward. Anyways, catching up with life through writing.

Recently, I met up with a friend from college. It really left a mark on me. It is amazing to see people who have such anger in their lives against people and situations they had no control over. It is tragic to see that they dwell and can't move on. There is a reason that it mentions in the bible we should leave the past behind.

I notice that once we label a behavior people own it to the point of losing self-control. My life has not been as rough as some, possibly more stressful than others, but still I think within normal limits. What keeps me sane and rational is Faith. My faith in God has always been the center of who I am. Jesus said all it takes is faith the size of a mustard seed. Mustard seeds are tiny. Super tiny. If that's all it takes to have faith in God then it is doable. I once thought that faith that size would be difficult. I realized it grows. With each day, step, action, it grows.

God speaks through us to others and through others to us. In the conversation with my friend God spoke to her. In my life a few moments have happened that I had the right words to say. This was a time I knew it was not me but fully God through me. What a blessing to be able to share those words of strength and hope with her.

A New Year... 2015

Yesterday, began a new year. The year of 2015. All over Facebook my friends are excited about the new year. They aren't making resolutions, they are making positive changes. They are choosing to be positive and hoping for new adventures.

I too hope for changes and new adventures. The past year was much better than the one before which means there was some changes that were for the better. I just pray the enthusiasm of my friends and family does not disappear as the year goes on.

The changes I'm making this year are as difficult as they come. Taking something you love (bread and sugar) and ending the love affair. The advice my mom's doctor gave her was to leave the relationship with bread and sugar. Nothing else. I am joining her on that journey to be a cheerleader and companion. 

Working on the New Me

Over the past year I have been working on getting me back in order. I had a handle on myself a few years ago and then... I got a boyfriend and then got married! Of course, throw me out the window for a while. God called my heart to attention and said get it together. I spent some time seeking him and knew I needed an attitude change.

That change was helped along by my new job this year as I watched and listened more than I have in a very long time. God is good. He directs your path even when you don't think so. Although, I do have trouble speaking up for myself at times, I'm making progress.

Today, I begin the journey of wellness for my body. I've tried many things in the past. Weight Watchers, Diet Center based diet, exercise... and a few others. This time I started slow. Changing one thing here and there today is the day I exercised. Albeit just 20 minutes but that was good after nothing. I will choose to eat healthier and make a go at it. I know what to do. Motivation is the key. Maybe in the future I will feel comfortable enough to share my success and the before picture I will be taking today... Ugh... I don't wanna. I know that it will be good to have as a reference to know that I don't want to be like this anymore. Uncomfortable, fat, and scared. Yes, scared.

Scared? Yep, honestly scared at what might happen. Old habits that are going to be hard to break will come knocking. The daily, hourly, no minutely decisions that make or break this mind set. Hard to fathom that some simple changes result in something life changing. I just hope that I can stick to this part of the journey. My mind is healthy and I can envision the goal. Keep me in your prayers as I change my lifestyle.

Summer Vacation

The title brings fond memories of carefree days of yesteryear. Unfortunately, as adults we all begin to wonder where those days went when we are doing laundry, paying bills, cooking dinner, and working. Alas, one of the many reasons I am a teacher. Although, the pit falls are everyone is on vacation at the same time. Walk into a restaurant, a store, or even a coffee shop and you hear the dreaded "Hello Mrs.... " from wee little voices you were trying to escape. Well, not everyone tries to escape but we sometimes like to think we do. ;0)

People think "Teachers have is so good summer vacation is awesome." I would rather spend my year working and then dictate when I get to have a vacation. Oh the joys of planning everything you want to do into a short two month period. Oh did you think teachers got three months off... That got thrown out the window years ago. School starts in August and gets out in June. That leaves two months folks.

I stayed the week after school was out to pack up my classroom and get it ready to move. Not every teacher has to move every year, I am one of the lucky few (sarcasm) that has had to move around schools and classrooms for the past six years! Maybe next year will change, which brings me to the next point... I will be returning to my classroom in August to get it ready for the coming school year. It will take a week or so to get things ready and prepared for my students.

In reality I get a total of six weeks off... Already a week has flown by and we are headed into the next. I hope time slows down enough for me to relax... Not likely, as I am constantly reminded I have things to do and accomplish before school starts again... 

The End of Year 1

Much to my surprise I ended the year upbeat and more excited about next year than I have ever been! The school I work at opened their arms to me the first day and haven't let go since. I am relieved that they are kind and wanting to improve their teaching for the students. ALL OF THEM! 

This is a rare find. Having come from many different district and schools my observations have been that about 10% of the teachers are there for a paycheck until retirement. They choose to not interest the students and help them grow. They fall into the same routine and curriculum with no updates each year.

As all technology gets updated so should our teaching. I encourage those who have fallen into the same old, same old routine to seek out something new and try it. If it doesn't work then fine but keep trying something new. One thing a month, a week, or a day you choose. 

This year marked my 11th year teaching. It was the first I was able to teach general education. I enjoyed it but found my weaknesses blaring out at me each day. Having never really taught a class of over 15 students I was overwhelmed with 33! Even 25 students in one of my classes was hard to manage. But, I tried one new thing a month in classroom management. I found some times it didn't work but I moved on. I adjusted what didn't and focused on what did. 

As they year came to a close I grew excited about my prospects for next year. Big changes for my new students but back to something familiar for me. Challenges will be presented and students will rise to meet them. Perhaps because I will help them along the way. Perhaps because I won't be willing to put them on an island and say "Stay there, you are different, you are only going to do this and not that." 

From my first years of teaching I always looked at my special education students as those who are able to accomplish much more than we give them credit for. I want to push them to their limits and then expand what they do know. The brain is mysterious and complex and is able of much more than we know. I hope to encourage, challenge, and help my students gain new skills and confidence to try something new and exciting.

A New Opportunity...

Again this year I look at the options for the next school year. Being a temporary employee at a school for the last few years I am used to the change every year. This year is a bit different due to the opportunity to possibly stay in within the same district. It is unfortunate that I will not be able to stay in the same position. I think the superintendent had me in mind for the position that he said might be available when he hired me last August.

Oh well... back to special education I go. So a little background might be in order. I have been teaching special education for the last 10 years! I can't believe it... Although, I got a bit of a reprieve this year by being able to teach regular education English and History. It has been a challenge though learning how to manage 30 students rather than 10. I have thoroughly enjoyed every minute. I love working with the team of teachers and will miss some of those interactions next year. I will be on the same campus but a world away.

I look forward to having a job in the field that I know I am capable of doing with ease.